humbug

i fucking hate Christmas. at least i usually do. don't get me wrong winter has got to be the best time of year in my opinion. like the phoenix dying before rising from its own ashes, i revel in natures death, knowing its rebirth is right around the corner. the cloudy skies lead into rain which clears away the smog for a brief period of time, almost as if removing the video filter which makes everything look gray for just a few hours. cold weather means more layered clothing which helps me to hide my "jolly" girth and allows me to wear my favourite jackets and such. when the chills creep into your house there is nothing better than getting nice and toasty, or at least staying warm anyways, in the cold cold cold of a southern California winter. i know some of you are already laughing at the notion of a 60 degree winter and having a house full of people wearing cargo shorts, sandals, and teeth chattering. but i digress...

as for why i hate the Christmas season with such fervor, when you get right down to to it, its the "christ" in "Christmas" that really that gets under my skin. for as long as i can remember I've been a firm atheist, and the amount of global attention this religious holiday gets really pisses me off. turn jesus's beard from brown to white, his robes from white to red, and his waistline from "golden 6-pack abs" to "golden 6-pack of beer every night for 50 years" and you get the makings of a religious holiday so full of bullshit its hard to understand how it can even stand on its own two legs, let alone plug one of its nostrils to shoot itself up the chimney.

the religious sidestepping is cheap and far too effective, which just adds to the lack of credibility these "divine beings" actually hold. especially since the Internet came about in 1993 and people realized there was more than 10 versions of every holy book ever, each with different rules about how to sip on a cup of french vanilla latte on the second Tuesday of each month. on that day, its strictly pinkie down during right handed sips, or else you spend forever in hell/limbo/some third equally bad place. although, when you think about it, Santa clause could have been invented by poor minorities, because when Christmas day comes and your kids realize that your too poor to afford presents, they can blame some fat white guy for not hooking it up with gifts like he claimed he would, thus teaching your starving brown children a valuable lesson. "Don't trust white people, they will judge every thing you do."

All the shopping for people is a bit lame as well. I'm an advocate for giving gifts all year to those who you feel truly deserve them. acts of kindness should not be quantified by a price tag or a receipt (unless your paying someones medicals bills maybe), but rather by the time and sentiment woven into the very gifts themselves. unfortunately time has been outsourced for far cheaper labor these days, and sentiment can be found in any 99cent store bargain bin, as it seems to be worth less than it has ever been worth before.

This year however, i have a house to myself and that means i get to choose just how decked out for Xmas i want to make it, and I've ceremoniously chosen to decorate it with absolutely nothing. all the lights on peoples houses really seem to feed into the American sense of excess that they feel they have the right to exercise, but i think its due to the recession that very few people are putting up the amount of lights they used to, if any at all. of course driving around town you can still see the houses with enough lights to assist planes landing on a runaway at the LAX, what i wouldn't give for some kids with garden shears to stalk the suburbs at night, stealthily cutting all these wires and leaving brightly lit houses looking like, well the same house during spring, or summer, or fall. although i wonder if those very wire-cutting-kids would get the occasionally nasty shock from all that exposure to wires. wouldn't want them getting hurt, because of course, Santa wouldn't give them presents.

Yet despite all the reasons for my annual hum buggery, this December has been unusually kind to me. I've met some cool people, got to spend quality time with some of my family, played guitar for some awesome audiences, and I've a few weeks left before starting school at the University of California Riverside. Next year will be, interesting, to say the least.

no actually, saying the least would sound more like: next year, will be 2010.

or even less: humbug.

i wonder

i put on some socks and saw that i had a hole in one of them. i started to wonder, "how do holes get on socks?". i can only imagine that it must be a mixture of the fabric wearing down from repeated usage, that in enough time results in a small tear that increases slowly over time until a hole is made. or is that what the gnomes living under my bed want me to think...

the Wind and the Leaf

Today, the wind took my breath away and made my heart stop, my eyes water, my toes curl, and my hands tighten around the contents of my pockets. My windswept hair flailed about as if trying to escape the unavoidable fate of being attached to my head, in order to dance in the wind like so many leaves or plastic bags that knew how to truly be free. The breeze tugged at my shoulders, leading me down foreign walkways and hidden valleys, as if having me seek respite from the forceful gusts that would have their way with me. Leaning against the wind I braced myself for the dust devil that would blind me, for the pebble that would hide in my shoes, and for the gale that wished to remove me from where ever i was and place me where ever it wished. A wayward leaf slapped me across the face, trying to redefine itself inside the draft, into a weapon made of brittle paper. Grasping my new found enemy in my hand I prepared the coup de grace that was my soft grip, and instead released it back into the wind, with wishes that my new found friend would travel far and to places unknown to the world. A tempest tilted the world in a beautiful and mystifying way, while working feverishly to blind those brave enough to take a glimpse. What would a zephyr have to do to find its way out of a cyclone and return home?

train conductor etiquette

Walking down many hallways at a place of higher learning, passing classrooms, taking peeks into the open doors, i sometimes catch people trying to pay attention to the front of the room. occasionally lingering next to open doors that are holding boardroom meetings, or special lectures lets you hear some interesting things. Yesterday there was a room full of adults who were being coached on how to handle a specific situation when working for their current employer. It was a train company, who should probably remain anonymous, that was trying to inform its train conductors on what situations they may encounter while behind-the-lever, so to speak. There was some mundaine items on the list, however there were a few that really leapt out at me as "classroom worthy".

Three such items were what to do with children that have been purposefully left behind by their parents. techniques on how to approach them and keep them calm while buying time for the local authorities to arrive. another item was what to do when you walk in on a room that has a dead body in it, and how to tell if it was of natural or accidental cause, or if it was suicide, and how to deal with the shock of something like that. they also mentioned finding people engaged in sexual congress, and a joke was made about perhaps letting them miss their exit and locking them in the train. I immediately thought that the chairs would be all crusty with bodily fluids by the next morning. hearing this makes me wonder how many times these events actually come to pass, and which happen most, and at what frequency. i wondered what items were left off the list, or that i didn't stick around to hear. do they carry weapons to fend off attackers? perhaps even ways to tell if the pirates riding your train actually intend to steal your booty or not? signs to look for if a solitary emo kid that hops on the train looking like Robert Smith with down syndrome?

Who knows what train conductors actually go through. I'm only saying that because i don't watch the reality show that is probably on the air which depicts such people at work.

we hardly knew ye

Bill Engvall has finally been removed, and with him the blight of my drive home. His billboard has been replaced by Ron White, a far lesser nuisance. Mainly because he leaves my name out of his affairs, just like i told him too. Plus he's not grinning like an idiot, that helps.

Bill Engvall you twat...

i have been working as a caterer at cal state san bernadino (a nearby college in southern california) for about a month now, and the drive there is roughly forty minutes. driving has never been troublesome for me, as it provides time to listen to new music, audio books, or standup comedy. This time is usually spent thinking, about the humourous absurdity of life, or about which direction i should take with a story i have in my head, or perhaps lyrics to a song i should write. This time spent behind the wheel is useful to me and almost theraputic, as being surrounded by my co-workers for several hours can be taxing on my philosophical properties, since it's best to keep my mouth shut whenever i hear other employees, students, or professors talking about politics or religion.

the drive to work is never as rewarding as the drive back, but it is rather uneventful. About one quarter of the drive home however, is marred by a giant billboard that has been up since i began working. The billboard in question has Bill Engvall's giant face smiling at me, as he is to be performing standup comedy at a casino nearby some time in late october. No matter what part of the universe my brain is soaring through, it is always brought to a screeching halt, as I have to sit and stare at this giant redneck's face for about forty five seconds. I could try and ignore it like i do so many others, but this billboard in particular has my name in it, Bill.

Bill Engvall is apart of the coalition known as blue collar comedy, which is essentially low-brow comedy for white people which is thinly veiled with rascism and homophobia. They aren't exactly the most accepting group of clowns out there. Now there time in the sun is already in it's deneaumaunt and luckily they aren't as popular as they were a few years ago. But still, seeing his big grinning face just irks me in some minor and irrelevant way taht i can't help but vent about.

Whenever someone has the same name as I do, i hope that they are people of intellectual character, or at least funny if they claim to be comedians. Do i think i'm funnier than Bill Engvall? Well, he managed to get a television show where the audience is told when to laugh on queue. I managed to get a few friends to laugh with me on occasion, and we never have to wait for applause breaks either.

oh, the jobs pretty cool too i guess.

movie madness part 2!

movie madness returns with more film reviews for you to enjoy!

Inglorious Bastards - Absolutely brilliant film by Tarantino, Truly the best film ever to have Nazi's in it. Showcasing a hardcore team of Nazi hunters, a Nazi detective who doesn't miss a thing and speaks a hundred languages, and a gorgeous French cinema owner who plots revenge against the Third Reich. Every actor in the film is phenomenal, Brad Pitt's unrelenting portrayal of Lt. Aldo Raine us both hilarious and intimidating, Cristoph Waltz's depiction of Colonel Hans Landa is breathtaking as he truly captures the essence of a mad genius who truly enjoys his work, and finally Melanie Laurent plays Shosanna Dreyfus, the determined cinema owner who vows to take revenge against the Nazi's who will be attending her theater. She is the most beautiful woman ever, period, ever.I would gladly let her burn my house down with me and my whole family inside if I got to spend an awkward dinner with her, listening to her insult me in French the whole time. The finale of the film takes several interesting twists and turns before the film comes to a close, and the chapter of the film where some members of the Basterds meet with a German spy in a barroom basement is one of the most intense and heart stopping moments Of the last few years. Masterpiece isn't a good enough word to describe this film.


9 - Eye Candy winner of 2009 so far, this film produced by Tim Burton is quite the CG adventure flick, but they didn't take the safe and colorful route of a family film that so often ails these movies. Nine separate dolls are infused with the soul of their scientific human creator, in order to keep the human soul alive into a post apocalyptic world where machines have destroyed all human life. Although the trailers for this film may have billed it as more of an action film, this film is more about survival than combat sequences, but the chase sequences are truly a sight to behold. The attention to detail is immense and the characters are so imaginative and original it makes the film feel truly unique. A great film with a lot of heart. Another name for the film could be "ULTIMATE: LittleBigPlanet", because the nine character resemble Sackboy's so much, but with the ability to kick more ass.


Star Trek - I'm not a Star Trek fan, but I can't deny the incredibly high production value this movie had. Although Captain Kirk's renegade nature as a youth seemed pointless and ill fitted for a military lifestyle, but luckily the movie had a great cast of far better actors than he. Zachary Quinto and Leonard Nimoy acted the part of Spock brilliantly and made the scenes with them quite enjoyable. Sadly Simon Pegg doesn't show up until later in the film, but steals the show any scene he is in. The villains seemed more like outer space rednecks than Romulans. but the prospect of alternating the time space continuum was a welcomed dose of science fiction, in an otherwise "SUMMER ACTION BLOCKBUSTER KICKASS MOVIE! YEAH! SUCKA!". The ladies in this flick were drop dead sexy, especially the green ones, I'm learning that I have a weakness for green skinned chicks, like She-Hulk. This movie looks the way modern science fiction cinema should look, but the weaponry in Star Trek has always appeared so weak to me. Peashooters that either shoot blue or red will never be as dangerous as a laser sword, 'nuff said.

Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel - Starring Chris O'Dowd of The I.T. Crowd fame headlines this British time traveling comedy about three friends who are enjoying their usual night at the local bar, until they stumble upon a bathroom that sends them all over time. This movie knows its target audience, and nerds will have much to laugh at during this movie. Nerd or not however, no one can deny the lull that takes place about three quarters through the film, where results seem to come from the characters doing the same thing they've been doing the whole film. Ana Farris actually looks pretty good in this movie, and changes her style dramatically many times during the course of the movie. The biggest letdown in this movie, and most shallow thing to admit, is that the film's villain is a woman of very mediocre physical characteristics who appears very very late in the film. Any kind of self respecting time traveling she-villain should be more attractive, so attractive that she seems unattainable to further enforce just how evil she is.

Gamer - This movie was an absolute joke. A weak attempt to cash in on gaming culture produces a weak attempt an action film that utterly falls under par. I hate to see Gerard Butler reduced to participating in such films but I can't blame him for taking a paycheck. The guy from Dexter is the best actor in the film and is a great antagonist because he is so easy to hate, but unfortunately so is the movie. The premise of the film is that players control inmates in a fight to the death, but the person who is controlling the main character is absolutely ancillary to the whole experience. There is an actual plot here but it doesn't really matter as it's all banal nonsense, trying to force in a "bigger picture" theme awkwardly towards the end of the film doesn't make things any more interesting in the slightest. Oh, and John Leguizamo is in the movie too, but I'm not sure why, in fact I don't think he knows why either. I'm not sure how movies like this get made, and from a nerds perspective, all the terminology would have moved on in such a futuristic setting, they wouldn't still be using slang from 2001. Teabagging, seriously?

movie madness!

Haven't posted in nearly a months so this one will be a doosey. I have spent a lot of time recently catching up with all the movies of 2009 that i have been wanting to watch. Here is a quick rundown of my take on them.

UP - The latest Pixar film continues graphic excellence, but is far too family oriented to compete on any intellectual level with its predecessor, WALL-E, which is the Pixar film to top in my opinion. I only laughed once, and although the prospect of a geriatric final fight sequence was an interesting idea, it got boring VERY quickly. Watch Beowulf tear apart three giant sea monsters in two minutes, and watching two old men throw their dentures at one another just doesn't compete. I will say that Pixar has mastered simulating canine's look perfectly. This film was simply too heartwarming for my tastes, but kids were probably rolling in the isles.

District 9 - This movie was absolutely amazing. The perfect mix of eyewitness accounts and over the top action sequences made this movie one for the record books. The main character spoke a thick accented English, but he is a far superior actor in "our" language than most American actors today. Aliens were incredibly lifelike, and as for the alien weaponry, what they lacked in originality they made up for in makes-humans-turn-into-exploding-mush-in-the-blink-of-an-eye factor, so well done there. As for giant robots, that makes anything better. Best in Show so far (although I haven't senn all the movies out yet).

Year One - This is the comedy to top for 2009. Although my love affair with Jables is obvious, this movie has comedic staying power that the other comedies are lacking. A decent commentary on ancient cultures and religions through modern perspectives, it basically points out the obvious ridiculousness of how people used to live their lives. David Cross as Cain was hilarious, and subtly stole the show, I wonder if Paul Rudd's character Abel had lived a bit longer, how funny his bits would have been.Did you notice Stew from Strangers with Candy?

The Goods: Live Hard Sell Hard - This was a decent comedy, with Jeremy Piven at the helm selling cars with fervor alongside his ragtag team of car salesmen. The romance sub plot wasn't beat over the audiences head thankfully, but were painful to sit through. Ving Rhames had some of the best lines in the whole film, but as per usual Wil Ferrell stole the show, for all 5 minutes he was actually in the film. This was a fun ride for 90 minutes, but after you know which direction the jokes are coming from the movie sadly has little lasting power beyond the first hilarious viewing. Best DJ song: "Dead Puppies".

Extract: This was a good comedy and felt like a true Mike Judge film about real people who are trying to keep their jobs and go about their day-to-day, until a super hot Mila Kunis shows up and ruins everything, for everyone, all at once, like she is prone to do. Jason Bateman is an excellent leading man and steers the film without any problem, unfortunately he is given Ben Affleck as a best friend, and in all honesty

Monsters Vs Aliens - This movie is what could be considered a "bandwagon" film, where the popularity if child friendly 3D movies has resulted in sub par trips to the movie theater. Reese Witherspoon's voice has always grated on my ears but somehow I survived, if only to hear Stephen Colbert as the voice of the incredibly stupid president. This was more like one of those "scary movie" or "date movie" parodies at times, and they broke the fourth wall far too often.

Transformers 2 - All hype, no substance. I already ranted on why this movie was garbage in a previous blog, so check it out!

G.I. Joe - I couldn't make it past the halfway mark in this film. Every time two swords connected the camera would change fifteen times. There is a montage devoted to showing just how badass the Joe's are in training, but come a real combat sequence no body can seem to hit the broad side of the Earth, let alone their opponents. Forced romance plots were brought to the foreground, despite audiences ripping out their eyeballs nationwide (I kid, people loved this movie, for some reason). I can't wait for the next film to come out, G.I. Joe 2: The Search for Curly's Gold, where we get to see when Dracula gets recruited to fight against Cobra and the army of mummies or some such nonsense. Like transformers, this movie is just meant to give people boners for America as the best in everything. Why be proud of how big our guns are, when we're ranked 34th in medicine? Priorities I tell ya.

That's it for now, but other films I plan to review soon: Observe and Report, Star Trek, Ponyo, 9, Adventureland, Gamer, and Inglorious Basterds. So stay tuned for those.

the pride of baghdad

i just finished reading the Pride of Baghdad in one sitting, and it was absolutely breathtaking. the story of four lions who escape from their zoo and try and survive in the wild, these four lions depict more human traits than most actors do on the big screen these days. it's no wonder how this book is taught in classrooms, the only thing i wonder is how this kind of reading isn't mandatory in some classrooms. it would be easier for students to appreciate, a more modern book to assign. Brian K. Vaughan is such a brilliant writer, i hope to be as marginally good at writing as him on his worst day.

i dont understand

if snake eyes can't talk, then why does his costume need lips? seriously.

I'm off to see the wizard!

the wonderful wizard of con. that's right, as i type this my friend Derrick is on his way to pick me up so we can go to the San Diego Comic Con for just one day, today, saturday, and it will be awesome.

i wonder what i should ask the wizard for? a brain? a heart? courage? if i know myself at all, and i do, i'll probably end up asking for a forbidden ninjutstu or summon materia. i'll get back to you.

comic con!

i haven't posted in awhile, because i'm so very anxious to go to comic con. San Diego, this saturday, it's going to be intense. sadly i don't have much funding to take with me down there so it's going to be mostly window/booth shopping for me. since my PS3 is still in limbo, i've been sticking to PC games to help tide the time. I'll go thru a quick list which i may go into detail in the future. consider this a lightning round of game reviews.

-=The Witcher: Good RPG
-=TRINE: Good, almost great, and i mean almost.
-=Musaic Box: Great idea, but I beat it in about 2 hours.
-=And Yet It Moves: Quaint. LocoRoco did it better but this is an amusing distraction.
-=Secret Of Monkey Island 3D Remake: unsure. i hate adventure game and lack patience.
-=BRAID: Awesome!
-=Yosumin: Decent puzzle game, pushed into good cause of super-cuteness.
-=Plants VS. Zombies: Solid game, pushed into great cause of massive amount of content.
-=Alien Shooter Vengeance: Diablo meets sci-fi. Simple Solid Game, nothing new though.
-=Mass Effect: Bioware delivers! Great story, unbelievable voice acting, incredible directing and cinematography, the gameplay lacks a bit of flair as all fights tend to feel the same, but so far, excellent game!
-=Sims 3: after investing a lot of time into this game i can truly admit that it was disappointing. The ability to have the whole neighborhood be live is awesome, but when you realize there aren't any of the expansion packs from previous games at work, its sad. you can't fast forward FAST enough. you will spend most of your time waiting for your sim to either be at work, or be asleep, both of which take FAR too long to fast forward through. All the expansion packs from the previous games should have been in here in some form or another, but they are absent. leaving this game basically feeling like The Sims 2.7.0.1.5 or something.

Other than that, COMIC CON THIS SATURDAY!!!!!

robo-racism (transformers) 2 review

transformers 2 is a great movie, if by great you mean only looking at the total cost of a film's production value and not at the actual directing, writing, or acting involved in the film.

so let's start by analyzing the good robots. the lack of auto-bot interaction is a let down, since we pretty much only get to hear optimus speak. i should say speak "intelligently" since the only other auto-bots are the most racist things i've ever seen in years. and this is coming from a guy who watches Paul Mooney standup on the reg. Anyone who has seen the film knows that I'm referring to the two "black" robots that are intended to be the films comic relief, but end up becoming an annoying joke with black people as the ultimate punch line, let's not be coy, it's obvious to anyone with half a brain and any sense of social dignity. i want to know what black people feel regarding these two characters, as they do nothing but reinforce the worst kinds of stereotypes. we never see a team of good robots interacting with each other, at least not in a non-racist way.

now the bad robots. the decepticons stole the show, as they had the best acting (voice acting granted) in the film, and at least we got to see them talk to one another and spend a few minutes developing their characters a bit. although sadly, megatron does NOT take orders from anyone, he gives them.

now the unnecessary robots. the constructicons were thrown in at the last second and formed more of a robo-monster/dragon than any kind of voltron-esque robot and were completly ancillary villains, to fight the ancillary heroes, trying to protect the ancillary humans. all of the people/robots involved with that whole constructicon sequence could have been edited out of the film and it would have made it better. except john turturro, i could watch him read the phone book.

now the actress. megan fox did a great job letting her tits/legs/ass do the acting for her, but hey, that's what she's paid for, so not much to write about there. standard hollywood female-objectification.

now the ending. the final battle sequence has so many explosions that you don't know what caused them, who they are aimed at, who is getting hurt by them, where they happen, which one is making the camera shake violently, and which one bruce willis is supposed to drive through to save the day. which may have made for a better ending.

now the plot. the story is full of massive plot wholes that anyone with a handle on critical thinking/analysis could find with no trouble. if aliens invade earth (the first film), it becomes a GLOBAL issue, not one that AMERICA deals with exclusively. the Witwiky's family would have been taken into some kind of witness protection program and become "contracted" employees of some government organization, not allowed to go to college and continue to harbor alien life in the garage.

now the breakdown. if the bad guys have the scientific sophistication to replicate the body of a human (the sexy lady who seduces sam in college), then why wouldn't they use that same technology to, oh i don't know, pose as the president. thus gaining access to the safely stored piece of the all-spark. or take it a step further and pose as sam's father/mother/girlfriend/dog/cactus anything in order to get closet enough to kill/rape him? the obstacle the villains face, could have easily been sidestepped if they would have used their own tech more efficiently, but maybe i'm giving an advanced alien life form too much credit.

now the truth. people raised in the 80's and 90's should have their assholes so torn apart by repeated film adaptations from things in their childhood, that this film should be able to glide in and out without much trouble.

now i pray. i pray that when the THUNDERCATS movie comes out, and it will, that cheetarah has a shower scene. and since she is a cat-person, you know exactly where i'm going with this. that's right. freaky leg stretch maneuver + modern computer grpahics = another waste of $11 during the summer time.

eBay you cheeky bitch, sony you rat bastards,

i hear ebay is taking 10% of the stuff u sell, but they DON'T tax you on the shipping costs. bastards are gonna take 30 cents from me, on my whopping guitar hero key chain i found on the ground at best buy years ago, instead of the 15 cents i agreed upon. to quote the only black guy in star wars, "this deal gets worse all the time". Lando we hardly knew ye. so long as the hedonism of the american consumer hasn't dwindled then i should still be selling stuff pretty adequately, i hope.

also my playstation 3 crapped out on me last week, as soon as i get resident evil 5 and infamous, go figgy pudding. sony wants to look at it for up to 2 months for $150 with no promise of them fixing anything. and to think i ever trusted them, the bastards. luckily there are a few repair shops just for broken consoles/handhelds nearby, so its only $100 to swap the whole blu-ray laser assembly. now for the hard part, having to wait until sometime this week when i get the call to go pick it up. but no school/work/motivation for anything useful leaves me with a lot of time to anxiously tap my watch in anticipation. comics have been really good lately which sadly means i read them like lightning and are done with the whole lot of 'em before much time has passed. i'm sure when i get it back and get to killing some zombies/ninjas it will have felt like no time passed at all. which brings me to my sad conclusion.

"In time, all things are forgotten."
-biLL

haiku

night turns into day,
folding time in my pocket,
pacing with the stars.

the spirit

is more of a visual audio book of the spirit's exposition slash tie blowing in the wind slash another movie where Samuel L Jackson is forced to carry to the weight of the whole film slash blatant advertise for converse but i don't mind entirely that much slash i wish my life had that black tone filter going on right its badass slash some other kind of thing.

its a real love hate change-up with that film. that police chief is so stale is makes my eyes dry up in seconds.

but that united states of Tara show is really interesting.

stand up and do comedy

or rather sit down. the last few days I've been recording my first in-home standup comedy album, and I'm proud to say I'm dangerously close to an hour of material. but it is currently in the beta stage for certain lucky listeners, so there will be cuts and tweaks to the joke roster. realizing i can use the mic from my rock band kit on my PC, means i am going to have to re record most of the material but it's worth the sound quality difference. hopefully it will be funny, or at the least a bit insightful, which no one wants to hear, so let's try and err on the side of comedy huh folks?

also, making little jingles with my crappy built in synthesizer is pretty fun, must learn to use audacity or something for polish.

rainy dreams

i dreamt that it was pouring rain outside. earlier this week i dreamt i had some people hostage in my air fortress, and since they wouldn't reveal the location of their secret rebel base, i shouted the order to open fire, sending thousands of giant tennis balls down to earth to wreak havoc. what do these messages all mean? i'm not entirely sure myself, i can say that they were a lot of fun to be a part of. i wonder if there is something to that giant tennis ball shooting air fortress deal. i wasn't wearing any kind of uniform either, i was just wearing jeans and a shirt, pretty lax for commanding a flying siege castle right? maybe it was "casual destroy a rebellion Friday". who knows. the people i had captive weren't really clear either, almost like acting dummy's that were sticking to the script. superb actors i must say.

should try and sketch the fortress...
hmm...

yeesh

January was my last post, it's been awhile, a lot has happened, long story short, not much has really happened. Just the usual wrestling around with my guilt as the world spirals into madness. formatting my computer meant losing many of my Mozilla bookmarks to negligence during the backup stage, among the forgotten links was this blog, this poor old blog, dusty, unkempt, and quite probably with a mean dose of rabies, but I'm hoping to get things kick started again, so tune in, please, they're watching me. always watching.

I would like to take a moment of silence, for all the links that are still forgotten, and will probably never be remembered again.

thanks.
take it easy.

guilt-free misery

Today i was doing errands not far from my house, in an area known as 'little Mexico', due to every store on that block being owned by and aimed at, the Spanish speaking population in the area. It's also full of pawn shops, pot holes, dive bars, hobos, gangsters, teenage mothers, and other shady sorts.

I was dropping off some mail at the post office, or 'poss offee', when a familiar looking homeless man asked me for change, which i didn't have, nor is it customary that i give any at all. After finishing going about my business, i was on my way out of the parking lot, when i finally remembered where i had known this man from.

Growing up, this guy was a barber that i used to go too. His place right across the street from where i just was, On The Go Haircuts it was called. I can't remember his name, but for a few years, I would place my skull in his hands, and trust him not to use his assortment of blades to slit my throat, rather to cut my hair. Entrusting a great deal of my head's cool factor to someone i didn't know was quite a feat for me at during my early teenage years. In what I'm guessing to be ten years, he's been reduced to asking for change to survive.

At first, i felt bad for not giving him change, and that would maybe make his life easier for a few moments, maybe a night. Not being able to help him get back on his feet made me realize that even if i did give him any spare change, i would still feel miserable about how his lot turned out.

So, with that i decided to keep the change i didn't have to give him, since it was going to make me feel just as bad, but guilt free.

It's a new year, meet trarrible.

and things aren't seeming barely less horrigic, which is a mix of horrible and tragic, which could also be trarrible, which sounds worse than the first one, so let's go with that. Trarrible.

What could lead someone to invent a new word such as this? Probably a new years eve wherein you nearly get your head bashed in by some people unwilling to let go of their massive ego's for a single night, in an attempt to embrace the new year with a bit of humour and poise. What else should I expect from the local populace in Riverside, the town i reside in, or the rest of southern California for that matter. A vibe that was screaming "who the fuck are you and when are you leaving?" was practically painted on the walls, most of it by the people who had invited us to the place to begin with.

The ball dropped right at midnight, as expected, and shortly after the obligatory party-destroying-fight-between-insecure-alpha-males took place, as expected, meant I was in my car drifting home by 12:35 a.m., as expected.

Shortly after, my winter class started, which happens to be at my old high school, in a room i was actually in before, which is all sorts of creepy. Walking through campus at night through my old school, is like a trip down memory lane. If memory lane was in some kind of purgatory, or hell, or helpgatory, or purgell, or wisconson.