guilt-free misery

Today i was doing errands not far from my house, in an area known as 'little Mexico', due to every store on that block being owned by and aimed at, the Spanish speaking population in the area. It's also full of pawn shops, pot holes, dive bars, hobos, gangsters, teenage mothers, and other shady sorts.

I was dropping off some mail at the post office, or 'poss offee', when a familiar looking homeless man asked me for change, which i didn't have, nor is it customary that i give any at all. After finishing going about my business, i was on my way out of the parking lot, when i finally remembered where i had known this man from.

Growing up, this guy was a barber that i used to go too. His place right across the street from where i just was, On The Go Haircuts it was called. I can't remember his name, but for a few years, I would place my skull in his hands, and trust him not to use his assortment of blades to slit my throat, rather to cut my hair. Entrusting a great deal of my head's cool factor to someone i didn't know was quite a feat for me at during my early teenage years. In what I'm guessing to be ten years, he's been reduced to asking for change to survive.

At first, i felt bad for not giving him change, and that would maybe make his life easier for a few moments, maybe a night. Not being able to help him get back on his feet made me realize that even if i did give him any spare change, i would still feel miserable about how his lot turned out.

So, with that i decided to keep the change i didn't have to give him, since it was going to make me feel just as bad, but guilt free.

It's a new year, meet trarrible.

and things aren't seeming barely less horrigic, which is a mix of horrible and tragic, which could also be trarrible, which sounds worse than the first one, so let's go with that. Trarrible.

What could lead someone to invent a new word such as this? Probably a new years eve wherein you nearly get your head bashed in by some people unwilling to let go of their massive ego's for a single night, in an attempt to embrace the new year with a bit of humour and poise. What else should I expect from the local populace in Riverside, the town i reside in, or the rest of southern California for that matter. A vibe that was screaming "who the fuck are you and when are you leaving?" was practically painted on the walls, most of it by the people who had invited us to the place to begin with.

The ball dropped right at midnight, as expected, and shortly after the obligatory party-destroying-fight-between-insecure-alpha-males took place, as expected, meant I was in my car drifting home by 12:35 a.m., as expected.

Shortly after, my winter class started, which happens to be at my old high school, in a room i was actually in before, which is all sorts of creepy. Walking through campus at night through my old school, is like a trip down memory lane. If memory lane was in some kind of purgatory, or hell, or helpgatory, or purgell, or wisconson.