movie madness part 2!

movie madness returns with more film reviews for you to enjoy!

Inglorious Bastards - Absolutely brilliant film by Tarantino, Truly the best film ever to have Nazi's in it. Showcasing a hardcore team of Nazi hunters, a Nazi detective who doesn't miss a thing and speaks a hundred languages, and a gorgeous French cinema owner who plots revenge against the Third Reich. Every actor in the film is phenomenal, Brad Pitt's unrelenting portrayal of Lt. Aldo Raine us both hilarious and intimidating, Cristoph Waltz's depiction of Colonel Hans Landa is breathtaking as he truly captures the essence of a mad genius who truly enjoys his work, and finally Melanie Laurent plays Shosanna Dreyfus, the determined cinema owner who vows to take revenge against the Nazi's who will be attending her theater. She is the most beautiful woman ever, period, ever.I would gladly let her burn my house down with me and my whole family inside if I got to spend an awkward dinner with her, listening to her insult me in French the whole time. The finale of the film takes several interesting twists and turns before the film comes to a close, and the chapter of the film where some members of the Basterds meet with a German spy in a barroom basement is one of the most intense and heart stopping moments Of the last few years. Masterpiece isn't a good enough word to describe this film.


9 - Eye Candy winner of 2009 so far, this film produced by Tim Burton is quite the CG adventure flick, but they didn't take the safe and colorful route of a family film that so often ails these movies. Nine separate dolls are infused with the soul of their scientific human creator, in order to keep the human soul alive into a post apocalyptic world where machines have destroyed all human life. Although the trailers for this film may have billed it as more of an action film, this film is more about survival than combat sequences, but the chase sequences are truly a sight to behold. The attention to detail is immense and the characters are so imaginative and original it makes the film feel truly unique. A great film with a lot of heart. Another name for the film could be "ULTIMATE: LittleBigPlanet", because the nine character resemble Sackboy's so much, but with the ability to kick more ass.


Star Trek - I'm not a Star Trek fan, but I can't deny the incredibly high production value this movie had. Although Captain Kirk's renegade nature as a youth seemed pointless and ill fitted for a military lifestyle, but luckily the movie had a great cast of far better actors than he. Zachary Quinto and Leonard Nimoy acted the part of Spock brilliantly and made the scenes with them quite enjoyable. Sadly Simon Pegg doesn't show up until later in the film, but steals the show any scene he is in. The villains seemed more like outer space rednecks than Romulans. but the prospect of alternating the time space continuum was a welcomed dose of science fiction, in an otherwise "SUMMER ACTION BLOCKBUSTER KICKASS MOVIE! YEAH! SUCKA!". The ladies in this flick were drop dead sexy, especially the green ones, I'm learning that I have a weakness for green skinned chicks, like She-Hulk. This movie looks the way modern science fiction cinema should look, but the weaponry in Star Trek has always appeared so weak to me. Peashooters that either shoot blue or red will never be as dangerous as a laser sword, 'nuff said.

Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel - Starring Chris O'Dowd of The I.T. Crowd fame headlines this British time traveling comedy about three friends who are enjoying their usual night at the local bar, until they stumble upon a bathroom that sends them all over time. This movie knows its target audience, and nerds will have much to laugh at during this movie. Nerd or not however, no one can deny the lull that takes place about three quarters through the film, where results seem to come from the characters doing the same thing they've been doing the whole film. Ana Farris actually looks pretty good in this movie, and changes her style dramatically many times during the course of the movie. The biggest letdown in this movie, and most shallow thing to admit, is that the film's villain is a woman of very mediocre physical characteristics who appears very very late in the film. Any kind of self respecting time traveling she-villain should be more attractive, so attractive that she seems unattainable to further enforce just how evil she is.

Gamer - This movie was an absolute joke. A weak attempt to cash in on gaming culture produces a weak attempt an action film that utterly falls under par. I hate to see Gerard Butler reduced to participating in such films but I can't blame him for taking a paycheck. The guy from Dexter is the best actor in the film and is a great antagonist because he is so easy to hate, but unfortunately so is the movie. The premise of the film is that players control inmates in a fight to the death, but the person who is controlling the main character is absolutely ancillary to the whole experience. There is an actual plot here but it doesn't really matter as it's all banal nonsense, trying to force in a "bigger picture" theme awkwardly towards the end of the film doesn't make things any more interesting in the slightest. Oh, and John Leguizamo is in the movie too, but I'm not sure why, in fact I don't think he knows why either. I'm not sure how movies like this get made, and from a nerds perspective, all the terminology would have moved on in such a futuristic setting, they wouldn't still be using slang from 2001. Teabagging, seriously?

movie madness!

Haven't posted in nearly a months so this one will be a doosey. I have spent a lot of time recently catching up with all the movies of 2009 that i have been wanting to watch. Here is a quick rundown of my take on them.

UP - The latest Pixar film continues graphic excellence, but is far too family oriented to compete on any intellectual level with its predecessor, WALL-E, which is the Pixar film to top in my opinion. I only laughed once, and although the prospect of a geriatric final fight sequence was an interesting idea, it got boring VERY quickly. Watch Beowulf tear apart three giant sea monsters in two minutes, and watching two old men throw their dentures at one another just doesn't compete. I will say that Pixar has mastered simulating canine's look perfectly. This film was simply too heartwarming for my tastes, but kids were probably rolling in the isles.

District 9 - This movie was absolutely amazing. The perfect mix of eyewitness accounts and over the top action sequences made this movie one for the record books. The main character spoke a thick accented English, but he is a far superior actor in "our" language than most American actors today. Aliens were incredibly lifelike, and as for the alien weaponry, what they lacked in originality they made up for in makes-humans-turn-into-exploding-mush-in-the-blink-of-an-eye factor, so well done there. As for giant robots, that makes anything better. Best in Show so far (although I haven't senn all the movies out yet).

Year One - This is the comedy to top for 2009. Although my love affair with Jables is obvious, this movie has comedic staying power that the other comedies are lacking. A decent commentary on ancient cultures and religions through modern perspectives, it basically points out the obvious ridiculousness of how people used to live their lives. David Cross as Cain was hilarious, and subtly stole the show, I wonder if Paul Rudd's character Abel had lived a bit longer, how funny his bits would have been.Did you notice Stew from Strangers with Candy?

The Goods: Live Hard Sell Hard - This was a decent comedy, with Jeremy Piven at the helm selling cars with fervor alongside his ragtag team of car salesmen. The romance sub plot wasn't beat over the audiences head thankfully, but were painful to sit through. Ving Rhames had some of the best lines in the whole film, but as per usual Wil Ferrell stole the show, for all 5 minutes he was actually in the film. This was a fun ride for 90 minutes, but after you know which direction the jokes are coming from the movie sadly has little lasting power beyond the first hilarious viewing. Best DJ song: "Dead Puppies".

Extract: This was a good comedy and felt like a true Mike Judge film about real people who are trying to keep their jobs and go about their day-to-day, until a super hot Mila Kunis shows up and ruins everything, for everyone, all at once, like she is prone to do. Jason Bateman is an excellent leading man and steers the film without any problem, unfortunately he is given Ben Affleck as a best friend, and in all honesty

Monsters Vs Aliens - This movie is what could be considered a "bandwagon" film, where the popularity if child friendly 3D movies has resulted in sub par trips to the movie theater. Reese Witherspoon's voice has always grated on my ears but somehow I survived, if only to hear Stephen Colbert as the voice of the incredibly stupid president. This was more like one of those "scary movie" or "date movie" parodies at times, and they broke the fourth wall far too often.

Transformers 2 - All hype, no substance. I already ranted on why this movie was garbage in a previous blog, so check it out!

G.I. Joe - I couldn't make it past the halfway mark in this film. Every time two swords connected the camera would change fifteen times. There is a montage devoted to showing just how badass the Joe's are in training, but come a real combat sequence no body can seem to hit the broad side of the Earth, let alone their opponents. Forced romance plots were brought to the foreground, despite audiences ripping out their eyeballs nationwide (I kid, people loved this movie, for some reason). I can't wait for the next film to come out, G.I. Joe 2: The Search for Curly's Gold, where we get to see when Dracula gets recruited to fight against Cobra and the army of mummies or some such nonsense. Like transformers, this movie is just meant to give people boners for America as the best in everything. Why be proud of how big our guns are, when we're ranked 34th in medicine? Priorities I tell ya.

That's it for now, but other films I plan to review soon: Observe and Report, Star Trek, Ponyo, 9, Adventureland, Gamer, and Inglorious Basterds. So stay tuned for those.