the Wind and the Leaf

Today, the wind took my breath away and made my heart stop, my eyes water, my toes curl, and my hands tighten around the contents of my pockets. My windswept hair flailed about as if trying to escape the unavoidable fate of being attached to my head, in order to dance in the wind like so many leaves or plastic bags that knew how to truly be free. The breeze tugged at my shoulders, leading me down foreign walkways and hidden valleys, as if having me seek respite from the forceful gusts that would have their way with me. Leaning against the wind I braced myself for the dust devil that would blind me, for the pebble that would hide in my shoes, and for the gale that wished to remove me from where ever i was and place me where ever it wished. A wayward leaf slapped me across the face, trying to redefine itself inside the draft, into a weapon made of brittle paper. Grasping my new found enemy in my hand I prepared the coup de grace that was my soft grip, and instead released it back into the wind, with wishes that my new found friend would travel far and to places unknown to the world. A tempest tilted the world in a beautiful and mystifying way, while working feverishly to blind those brave enough to take a glimpse. What would a zephyr have to do to find its way out of a cyclone and return home?

train conductor etiquette

Walking down many hallways at a place of higher learning, passing classrooms, taking peeks into the open doors, i sometimes catch people trying to pay attention to the front of the room. occasionally lingering next to open doors that are holding boardroom meetings, or special lectures lets you hear some interesting things. Yesterday there was a room full of adults who were being coached on how to handle a specific situation when working for their current employer. It was a train company, who should probably remain anonymous, that was trying to inform its train conductors on what situations they may encounter while behind-the-lever, so to speak. There was some mundaine items on the list, however there were a few that really leapt out at me as "classroom worthy".

Three such items were what to do with children that have been purposefully left behind by their parents. techniques on how to approach them and keep them calm while buying time for the local authorities to arrive. another item was what to do when you walk in on a room that has a dead body in it, and how to tell if it was of natural or accidental cause, or if it was suicide, and how to deal with the shock of something like that. they also mentioned finding people engaged in sexual congress, and a joke was made about perhaps letting them miss their exit and locking them in the train. I immediately thought that the chairs would be all crusty with bodily fluids by the next morning. hearing this makes me wonder how many times these events actually come to pass, and which happen most, and at what frequency. i wondered what items were left off the list, or that i didn't stick around to hear. do they carry weapons to fend off attackers? perhaps even ways to tell if the pirates riding your train actually intend to steal your booty or not? signs to look for if a solitary emo kid that hops on the train looking like Robert Smith with down syndrome?

Who knows what train conductors actually go through. I'm only saying that because i don't watch the reality show that is probably on the air which depicts such people at work.

we hardly knew ye

Bill Engvall has finally been removed, and with him the blight of my drive home. His billboard has been replaced by Ron White, a far lesser nuisance. Mainly because he leaves my name out of his affairs, just like i told him too. Plus he's not grinning like an idiot, that helps.