i fucking hate Christmas. at least i usually do. don't get me wrong winter has got to be the best time of year in my opinion. like the phoenix dying before rising from its own ashes, i revel in natures death, knowing its rebirth is right around the corner. the cloudy skies lead into rain which clears away the smog for a brief period of time, almost as if removing the video filter which makes everything look gray for just a few hours. cold weather means more layered clothing which helps me to hide my "jolly" girth and allows me to wear my favourite jackets and such. when the chills creep into your house there is nothing better than getting nice and toasty, or at least staying warm anyways, in the cold cold cold of a southern California winter. i know some of you are already laughing at the notion of a 60 degree winter and having a house full of people wearing cargo shorts, sandals, and teeth chattering. but i digress...

as for why i hate the Christmas season with such fervor, when you get right down to to it, its the "christ" in "Christmas" that really that gets under my skin. for as long as i can remember I've been a firm atheist, and the amount of global attention this religious holiday gets really pisses me off. turn jesus's beard from brown to white, his robes from white to red, and his waistline from "golden 6-pack abs" to "golden 6-pack of beer every night for 50 years" and you get the makings of a religious holiday so full of bullshit its hard to understand how it can even stand on its own two legs, let alone plug one of its nostrils to shoot itself up the chimney.

the religious sidestepping is cheap and far too effective, which just adds to the lack of credibility these "divine beings" actually hold. especially since the Internet came about in 1993 and people realized there was more than 10 versions of every holy book ever, each with different rules about how to sip on a cup of french vanilla latte on the second Tuesday of each month. on that day, its strictly pinkie down during right handed sips, or else you spend forever in hell/limbo/some third equally bad place. although, when you think about it, Santa clause could have been invented by poor minorities, because when Christmas day comes and your kids realize that your too poor to afford presents, they can blame some fat white guy for not hooking it up with gifts like he claimed he would, thus teaching your starving brown children a valuable lesson. "Don't trust white people, they will judge every thing you do."

All the shopping for people is a bit lame as well. I'm an advocate for giving gifts all year to those who you feel truly deserve them. acts of kindness should not be quantified by a price tag or a receipt (unless your paying someones medicals bills maybe), but rather by the time and sentiment woven into the very gifts themselves. unfortunately time has been outsourced for far cheaper labor these days, and sentiment can be found in any 99cent store bargain bin, as it seems to be worth less than it has ever been worth before.

This year however, i have a house to myself and that means i get to choose just how decked out for Xmas i want to make it, and I've ceremoniously chosen to decorate it with absolutely nothing. all the lights on peoples houses really seem to feed into the American sense of excess that they feel they have the right to exercise, but i think its due to the recession that very few people are putting up the amount of lights they used to, if any at all. of course driving around town you can still see the houses with enough lights to assist planes landing on a runaway at the LAX, what i wouldn't give for some kids with garden shears to stalk the suburbs at night, stealthily cutting all these wires and leaving brightly lit houses looking like, well the same house during spring, or summer, or fall. although i wonder if those very wire-cutting-kids would get the occasionally nasty shock from all that exposure to wires. wouldn't want them getting hurt, because of course, Santa wouldn't give them presents.

Yet despite all the reasons for my annual hum buggery, this December has been unusually kind to me. I've met some cool people, got to spend quality time with some of my family, played guitar for some awesome audiences, and I've a few weeks left before starting school at the University of California Riverside. Next year will be, interesting, to say the least.

no actually, saying the least would sound more like: next year, will be 2010.

or even less: humbug.

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