A small local bar without much of a reputation usually makes for a nice amount of free space to act foolish in. however sometimes its ill repute might come for a reason. a woman of stature so large, that when she threatened to dance atop a pool table, it left me wondering, "what did that pool table ever do to you?" that poor billiards table. it must have never thought its fate would have been so gruesome. its carefully constructed leather bound corners shuddering beneath the behemoth of someone in the throes of a heartbroken drunken depression. the echoes of a murderous ex-boyfriend whose tormented test subject which had somehow broken free from its laboratory, and was now terrorizing the countryside. in this circumstance the countryside was being embodied by my two friends and myself. a siren had one friend caught in a paralyzing gaze, her smile bewitching him into next week. there was no hope for him, not after he noticed her shirt bearing the Nine Inch Nails logo, [NIN]. Ive never understood industrial music really, but after she failed to notice a popular song of theirs which he put on the digital jukebox, it was evident she didn't either. He had boldly walked into her lair fearing only her disapproval, and despite letting me know he was in complete control, i left behind the shell of my friend, strings attached to his every joint, a voluptuous puppet master dancing him across the stage. So we left him there at the bar, surrounded by strangers, with no more sense than a drunken buffoon trying desperately to get laid before 2am.

A wise man once told me, some saving throws simply weren't meant to be made. then you take full damage.

Hopefully this isn't his final farewell, my personal sayonara to him, a lazy blog post forced because the danger of him never getting to hang out is clearly your fault. why on earth would we leave him there? why would we let him willingly throw his short pathetic life down the tubes like toothpaste squeezed out over a sink? because he looked me in the eye and told me to, that's fucking why. then a few seconds later he calls me and tells me that he is on the way to my house. alive and with all of his limbs. hopefully all of his fingers and toes too.
its good to be alive. but its even better to be sane, or at least semi-cognizant.


Ponce is a word I love to use, and maybe its due to the fact that I've always been an anglophile. BBC programming has always worked its way into my television or computer, and if your familiar with Zero Punctuation (which you very well should be), then you've no doubt heard this word used in a derogatory fashion during conversations. When calling someone a "ponce", you're making the claim that they are faking having class or intelligence, essentially making them a poser. Or "poeuseuer" if your fancy. Yahtzee himself once called the main character from SEGA's Alpha Protocol the, "ponciest ponce to ever ponce past a poncing parlor". Brilliant.

Handles / Gamertags

And by handles/gamertags, I mean gaming nicknames. The alias's people go by when playing against each other online says a lot about them, even if that name is something like Space_Broccoli. I've been working on something recently which requires numerous handles for characters. My personal online moniker? SpookyDonkey. Which appeared during a rough translation of the Cowboy Bebop Movie. In a scene where a hacker has been tracked down to an arcade, he has his game turned off by Faye, and he laments over almost reaching the final boss named Sporky Donkey, but the early translation I saw said Spooky Donkey. It was like some weird cosmic eclipse, not that the universe has anything to be eclipsed by, but i digress. Something instantly clicked inside of me and I knew it was my "other" name.

But we're not here to talk about me, at least not anymore than I already have, but for this cast of fictional characters. Without getting too much into it, I'm simply going to rant a list of handles to get some juices flowing. Wait, that sounds inappropriate.

-Slayer_H8r, a take on player hater, but with more slayer. Metalheads wont like this one.
-K-OS, pronounced chaos, but stands for Knowledge Of Self.
-Rouge Scholar, someone whose self-taught.
-Moe_Boy, Moe is a japanese term pronounced (Moh-eh), and boy should be pronounced (boy-eh) or like "boya" with an almost southern draw.
-Loliconvict, a play on the term "lolicon", check wiki. all will make sense. [>_< ]#
-fartBALLS69 (only because i have seen this somewhere on the net, or something like it)
-DARTH_puppy, obvious contrast.
-SpringHeeledJack, or "teh terror of London" and various places like Prauge and Texas
-blazed_mazer, someone with skills at "mazing" in tower defense games, and is always stoned when doing so, otherwise known as a blazed mazer, hence the name.
-YA-TE-VEO, spanish for "i see you", and a folk monster.
-mavERIC, a take on Eric.
-GODTImkr, the Godti Mafia Matter Maker, from Transmetropolitan. A self aware appliances, which keeps itself too drugged to ever work properly.
-BetaRayPhil, a take on Phillip and Beta Ray Bill.
-roddenburry, as in Gene Roddenberry, but pronounced with the "-urry", as in dont be scurred, kind of a hip-hop sci-fi thing.
-SPR-F-EK-TV, as in super effective, as in "it's super effective!", as in super "effective"!
-marshall_bananana, Bebop fandom ftw!

More MvC3 vids

Sorry to keep beating this game over everyone's head, but excited isn't a powerful enough word. again leeching from the great people at, here are character videos for Viewtiful Joe, Dormammu, and the rest of the announced cast this far. Also there is an interview with one of the games head developers Ryota Niitsuma, where he talks about stuff, and you can listen, but it's fifteen minutes long so be warned.

Marvel vs Capcom 3 Character Reveal

The long anticipated sequel to the smash success Marvel vs Capcom 2 is coming up. And in order to make the rabid fan base salivate, information has been trickling out regarding the game and more importantly, its character roster. It's been announced that the roster will be smaller in size than its predecessor, which isn't a bad thing necessarily, the last game had half a dozen characters that were essentially Ryu clones (and Dimitri was left out!). This time around, the character distinction has been a bigger factor when developing characters, in order to make them all play like unique characters. The characters announced at Comic Con were Thor, Amaterasu, Dr. Doom, Chun-Li, Trish, and Super Skrull. Fun Fact, Super Skrull's name is KL'RT, and he was the first Skrull to be infused with all of the powers of the Fantastic Four. Using him was the developers way of having all four of the Fantastic Four be playable as just one character.

The two newest official additions to the character roster are Viewtiful Joe, and Dormammu. If you've never played a Viewtiful Joe game, than you've missed out on some of the best side scrolling action games Capcom has ever made, not to mention the over the top hilarity that Joe brings to games.Dormammu is a more obscure character from Marvel canon, but that doesn't make him a weakling. He is a common villain of Ghost Rider, Dr. Strange, and the Defenders. A powerful demon from the mystical realm, his fire based abilities, matched with his massive armored stature, make him quite the contender. Just how he stands up against the competetion has yet to be seen. Exciting times for fighting fans. I always loved making themed teams for Marvel vs Capcom, one of those being All-Villains, and with Super Skrull, Dr.Doom, and Dormammu, things are starting to shape up quite nicely indeed.

Dragon Age 2 trailer

March 2011 is the release date set for Bioware's sequel to Dragon Age: Origin. The first game I played extensively and I have to admit that they delivered in terms of producing a game which played like Knights of the Old Republic gameplay, with a gritty fantasy setting. And the it was the darker tone of the game which I think made it as memorable, as it was fun.

I've noticed a trend in science fiction and fantasy titles in gaming, and it's that they have increasingly lighter tones. Final Fantasy 13 opened with a city in revolt, and a resistance being filled with optimistic "young scamp" character types broke the illusion far too quickly. Science Fiction has also taken a departure from its dystopian roots, and leaned more towards family friendly, more marketable stories. Anyway, here are two video game trailers that give me hope. But are more importantly entertaining.


A friend of mine recently began an online business wherein he creates bead sprite necklaces of popular 8bit and 16bit video game character sprites, and sells them online. Not only does he recreate the classics, but he creates sprite versions of modern characters, as well as custom adaptations, which are all slung from a cord and hung around the neck. He was gracious enough to be willing to step outside of his video game character policy, to make a special commission from yours truly. Me.
I'm a big fan of the tv show 30 Rock, and my favourite character without a doubt has to be Tracy Morgan's character, Tracy Jordan. When he was denying allegations of being a normal person when a tabloid photo showed him walking out of a starbucks. He was outraged at the accusation of normalcy, shouting, "I was walking backwards, INTO a starbucks!" Eventually the character purchases a gold, diamond encrusted necklace with the word EGOT, which stands for Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony. He is obsessed with winning all four of them, but isn't even willing to show up on time for his show's rehearsal, proving he hasn't the mettle, or the merit needed to win a single one, let alone all four. Somehow, I think I can relate.
Also, I'm convinced the Black Crusaders are out to get me.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Movie Review

This movie was great. Awesomely great even. The most comic-book-looking-movie since Sin City. Seeing all the "Whoosh" and "Kapow" sound effects spelled out onscreen was a really nice touch which helped reinforce the film not taking itself too seriously. All of the characters were brilliantly cast and not one of them felt out of place. It was unfortunate that Kim Pine didn't get more screen time but that's a personal gripe since she is my favourite female character from the book. In my honest opinion, Knives Chau was the best actor in the movie, she really stole the show in my opinion. The fight scenes were spectacular and were frequent, and a welcome source of open conflict. Best of all was the music. All of the Sex Bob-Omb tracks are phenomenal!

There are things that had to be edited out of the story for the sake of brevity and an admirable job was done to rework the story into film. Here are some things that I truly wish could have been seen on the big screen. Lisa, mainly because I just want to know who they would have cast to be her. Crash and the Boys with their Goggle wearing outfits. A certain someone chopping a bus in twain. The Clash at Demonhead having their dirty laundry aired, resulting in the left behind bionic arm. A bit more passage of time, because the book takes place over the course of a year, and the film takes place in what seems to be a week. These are things that needed to be excluded from the film and they for viable reasons. Just one Scottaholic's opinion. I'll never forget the first time seeing ONI Press on the big screen, or my main man Scott Peezee For Sheezee!

Rating: Omni-Cool

SCOTTAHOLIC and Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour Review

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is coming out in theaters tomorrow at midnight, and I'm too excited to sleep. Since I first heard the film was being made with Edgar Wright directing, it was clear that the right choices were being made. Then the cast list came out and the awesomeness became obvious. After much breath holding, its finally here. Just one day away. Did you know that Jackie Chan's stunt team was on deck to do all the fight choreography and action sequences? And if you've seen Drunken Master or Police Story, then you know they do incredible work. After watching the film, I'll post a review.

I purchased the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Movie: The Game from the Playstation Network today, and it was animated by a certain Paul Robertson, who is a god of sprite animation. Youtube his videos, especially kings of power 4 billion (epilepsy warning!). The game is a throwback to all the things that made me love video games growing up. To boil it down, the game is essentially River City Ransom with a Scott Pilgrim paint job to the Nth degree. And if you have played River City Ransom, then you should know it was the defining beat 'em up for the Nintendo. The game is absolutely rife with Scott Pilgrim fan service, so even the most rabid Scottaholic (like yours truly) will be sated. And isn't that really what we want from our video game adaptations? To have heavy references to its source material, in order to make even the act of noticing small details a reward in itself.

Recently the sixth and final volume to the story, "Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour", was released, and needless to say it did not disappoint. The art took an impressive leap from its already awesome level. The spot color shading is so ruddy cool looking that it makes me wish shade worked that way in real life. I wont talk about the content in case you've not read any of the books prior, but let's just say that it kicks-ass like a 150-hit-combo-super-crossover-combination-FINISH!and leave it at that. I'm very happy to have picked up that first volume when i was visiting a Berkley comic book store called Comic Relief. It was impulse really, and the bright orange colour jumped out at me, and the Wind Waker eyes on the cover were too cool to ignore. If you know me at all, you know orange is my favourite colour in the rainbouw. I'm not the least bit disappointed that the story came to an end, because all the best ones do. It also leaves the prospect of new and exciting stories for the author to do. And with the phenomenal success of the book, and the already dizzying recognition of the film, that means the world will be watching. Pressure much? But not much too much.

This series really did have quite an impact on me, the art style was unique, the dialogue was humorous, the romantic complications were relate-able, and the video game aura of it all really spoke to me on a lot of levels. Pun intended. To quote myself, "It's the coolest book I've ever read." So if you haven't read Scott Pilgrim, do yourself a favour. And I don't mean make a PB&J sammy and take a nap. GO READ IT!

Have you ever?

Have you ever listened to the song "Don't You Evah" by Spoon?
Have you ever tried to eat spaghetti with just a spoon?
Have you ever poured yourself a bowl of cereal, then put the milk in microwave and the cereal in the refrigerator?
Have you ever watched a bootleg movie, and the person taping it has their cell phone go off?
Have you ever wondered why your least favourite colour, isn't your favourite colour?
Have you ever done the math a hundred times, and things still don't add up?
Have you ever put a sticker somewhere, regardless of who was watching?
Have you ever written a letter to god, knowing he/she/it won't write back?
Have you ever kept a promise you forgot you made?
Have you ever been so indecisive that you couldn't figure out what not to do first?
Have you ever plotted world domination from inside your hamster cage?
Have you ever hidden lunch meat under your wig?
Have you ever put someone in their place, then immediately forget where you put them?
Have you ever thought that if jesus was a mouse, he would be called "cheeseus"?

The SaNitarium

I worked behind the register at a net cafe in Moreno Valley, CA for a few years, which meant that every night from ten till five in the morning I was able to play video games on high end computers with a powerful T1 connection to the internet. Needless to say it was a blast, but I'll say it anyways. It was an absolute blasty blast. It was the most fun for the year before World of Warcraft spread like the plague and consumed the lives of everyone inside that store, myself included. Dark days indeed.

Anyways, myself and most of the regulars who came inside would often play games against each other. Counter Strike, Day of Defeat, Warcraft 3, Battlefield 1942, if it was on the PC, we played it. Of note, was the personal server that out store had, and for each of these games there was a dedicated server named "The SaNitarium". Every once in a while I would pop in, knowing full well that no one else was in there. So for a few minutes, it was just me, in a virtual sanitarium. When the store had first opened, that place was packed with all sorts of people, trying to kill each other in some manner or another, vying for dominance in an arena with no audience. Now the store has changed owners several times, and is probably closed. Sometimes I wonder, what ever happened to that tiny virtual space?


Currently I'm listening to the Xenogears Official Soundtrack. The music from the legendary Playstation RPG is a mix of epic struggles and battles with calm and romantic melodies. Apart from being an intense stroll down memory lane.

My neighbors have always had roosters, and their incessant wailing that begins at 3 a.m. has never failed to strike me as, for lack of a better phrase, delightfully unamerican.

Workshops have helped me to realize that I am such a comma splicer I deserve to be in Bioshock. Get it? Splicer? Forget it.

The Grand Theft Auto (GTA) series, should be renamed Drug Deal Gone Wrong.

The League of Gentlemen is a deliciously dark comedy from the BBC, where the inhabitants of a backwater village of Royston Vasey manages to murder any outsiders that are unfortunate to wander into town. If you have a netflix account, give it a watch. "What's all this noise? We'll have no trouble here. This a local shop. For local people."

If I have a thought, about not having anything beneath my knees, is that a no-shin-notion?